If you are one of the many women who struggle with vaginismus, you know how it can affect relationships and sexual health. When sexual intimacy leads to pain, it can cause significant strain in relationships. This article will get into what vaginismus is, and how to navigate the challenges to intimacy and relationships that can stem from it.
Understanding vaginismus
Vaginismus is an involuntary tightness or spasms that occur in the walls of the vagina. It can happen randomly, or be triggered by touch or attempts at penetration of the vagina such as with tampons or during sexual activity. It occurs in 5-17% of women and is one of the most common female sexual issues.
Emotional impact of vaginismus
Because of the discomfort that is caused by vaginismus, there are often several emotional and mental health components that surround it. Anxiety is common among women with vaginismus, particularly surrounding sexual activity and the discomfort it may cause. In addition, there can be a sense of fear around any anticipated sexual activity that can cause worsened anxiety and dread.
Over time, women with vaginismus can begin to develop self-esteem issues, feelings of guilt, feelings of shame, and strain in their relationships.
How vaginismus can affect relationships
Because of the complex emotions tied to sexual relationships, people may feel rejected, frustrated, ashamed, and hopeless when vaginismus causes difficulties and discomfort. The partner with vaginismus might feel anxious or afraid of sexual encounters, or feel guilty or ashamed if they can’t meet their partner’s desires sexually. The partner without vaginismus may feel rejected, especially if the pain and condition aren’t openly discussed. Open communication with your partner is truly key to mutual understanding in your relationship.
Treatment options and sexual health
Some of the most effective treatments for vaginismus include:
- Pelvic floor physical therapy: A pelvic PT is specialized in working with people with pelvic and vaginal issues, like vaginismus. They can provide several aspects of therapy including stretches, exercises, and biofeedback treatment.
- Mental health: Seeking the help of a therapist can be very helpful for both the women with vaginismus and as a couple with their partner.
- Vaginal dilators: There are several commercially-available vaginal dilator sets available that can help some women to gradually dilate the vaginal opening. This can be done at home.
Empowering sexual health and intimacy
Overcoming stigma and openly discussing vaginismus with your partner and your healthcare team is the first and more important step in building a healthier relationship and treating vaginismus symptoms. Looking at the entire picture, including relationship issues, mental health, pelvic health, and overall health is the best way to address sexual and intimacy issues caused by vaginismus.